Howdy Lee,
Originally, I was outraged by your prosecutorial efforts against me and my associates, and extremely shaken up due to the unjust search of my home, in multiple violations of the Fourth amendment. I believe that the emotional stress caused by my multiple-day solitary confinement without cause, and the accumulated effect of previous harassment by the government lead me to treat you less respectfully than I should have. However, recently I was at the law library, my usual resource for ethical guidance, and I started reading Thomas Paine. There, I experienced a revelation as to how to best proceed in dealing with your actions.
“He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself.”
– Thomas Paine, Dissertation on First Principles of Government
I’m writing to help clarify the situation in which we continue to find ourselves. It appears, despite the obvious facts surrounding the events, that you are continuing to attempt my legal prosecution. While information security experts worldwide (many of whom your department hire as expert witnesses), law analysis groups, consumer affairs groups and lay citizens continue to support me, you still investigate me for some alleged obscure criminal act. While I generally support your mission, Lee, I think you’re being lead astray by a desire for professional distinction.
I am sure that you are probably under great pressure to produce something, as evidenced by your use of quasi-legal means such as your questionable search warrant, the ensuing negative publicity for your office and name, and the growing number of people asking why you are doing this. These influences upon your judgments are of no matter; ultimately, you will be held accountable to the people for your actions. I’m sure that the strain is beginning to take a toll on your personal and professional relationships, and as I am, and always have been, a supporter of the United States’ government, I’d like to offer some friendly advice before irreparable damages from your errors spread to other aspects of the Department of Justice.
Here are the options available to you, and my advice for each:
1. Continue holding Grand Jury sessions and force an indictment.
I can in no way advise this as it will harm your professional reputation and force the Department of Justice to engage in the manufacture of evidence. Social responsibility has always been at the core of everything we do at Goatse Security, and this will be extraordinarily obvious at a trial. Goatse has done large amounts of documented work in project areas such as combating safe havens for pedophiles worldwide, protecting US infrastructure, and keeping US citizens safe from Russian and Chinese organized crime. The DoJ has also pursued these projects, quite well at times, but we should work together for a common goal instead of fighting for territory, and wasting our fiscal and legal resources. At Goatse, we do not have a large advertising budget like the DoJ and FBI; our publicity comes from citizen recognition of national stewardship and skillful work. I hope that you don’t see this as competition to your own great work in the area, but allow me to communicate that I believe that we could both do better
2. Stop this investigation.
Given the vulnerable position the DoJ is in as a result of your actions, you may be required to resign. I am very sorry for this prospect, but there are many great opportunities available for you in the private sector, and just because you will not be employed by the people at large does not mean that you will not be able to help make the country a better, safer and healthier place for us all to enjoy. We at Goatse give back, with daily volunteer work, which we are able to accomplish in our free time due to the gains we make by working in the private sector. We find this the most healthful and heartiest form of patriotism, as it not only allows total agency and freedom of choice, so that citizens can give in the ways they are most capable, but also minimizes bureaucratic costs we all bear as brothers and sisters in this great nation.
3. Publicly accept assistance from Goatse Security.
While the smear campaign your agency has launched against Goatse and myself personally may make this difficult, I’m sure that fully disclosing the rationale behind it would secure the public’s forgiveness and understanding for you and the DoJ. Lest it go unsaid, a friendly hand extended in partnership would earn Goatse’s respect and forgiveness as well. As always, we are more then happy to work with you hand in hand for a stronger country. If you are unable to do this for political reasons, we understand but we would not want you to dishonor your family or the legal education they’ve helped you attain by making choices which are wrong. AT&T needs to be held accountable for their insecure infrastructure as a public utility and we must defend the rights of consumers over the rights of shareholders.
I pray for you, Lee. I pray for you to see wisdom in your actions, and pray for you to be guided towards righteousness. I advise you to discuss this matter with your family, your friends, victims of crimes you have prosecuted and your teachers, for they are the people who would have been harmed had AT&T been allowed to silently bury their negligent endangerment of United States infrastructure.
Hugs and Courage To You,
Andrew